Stigma of Addiction
Megan Megale • August 21, 2019
I remember when I knew Matt was in trouble feeling very alone.
I come from a large family of 5 girls and a brother, two very supportive parents and wonderful brother-in-law’s on Larry’s side of the family, none of which I reached out to feeling as though no one would understand what Matt was struggling with. Frankly, I was just beginning to understand.
That weekend, I arranged for 2 men to come to my home in the middle of the night, to take Matt to rehab. He was 17, and I knew if I did not act, once he turned 18, I would no longer have that ability. It was horrible, horrible ,horrible and expensive, but I could not get him to treatment otherwise. My husband and Kelley were away on a lacrosse weekend and I acted on my own to make this decision, had vetted as best I could programs and opted for a wilderness program, and pulled the trigger. I then laid on the couch crying all weekend as Shea did her best to tell me how he will later thank me.
One of the other families in our neighborhood was also in trouble struggling with their son and a heroin addiction, and I saw the mother one day in the food store and thought I had found someone who would understand and commiserate with me. I introduced myself, noted the connection and I asked how her son was. She told me “Oh he left for boarding school last week.” I stood there with a weird look on my face thinking, “there is not a boarding school in the world that would have accepted your child with a heroin addiction and a felony, why are you not being honest?”
Now, we were just getting to know one another but one of my FEW faults is my inability to let things go. So I looked at her and said, “Oh how wonderful, I just sent Matt to boarding school too. The School of Hard Knocks.” Then I turned my cart around and said, “Perhaps they are roommates.”
And that illustration of the stigma of addiction stifles us all. If your child had cancer, you’d tell people. If you child had a brain tumor, you’d do a fundraiser. My child had a disease too, but we are ashamed to tell anyone.
I had a heart attack because I too chose to hide from the people I love most, in a gesture of protection. To protect Matt from being judged and to protect them from the heartbreak I was feeling.
I raised a beautiful boy. I asked the web designer to put his picture on every page! I still cry every day as something reminds me of him, no longer here with me. Don’t do what I do. Matt’s life mattered so does your loved ones.
