Christina's story

Hello, my name is Christina I'm 49 years old and realized that I was an addict at 23 years old. I became heavily addicted to Benzodiazepines for years and at 26 entered my first detox program. I thought it was over but it had just begun. From there my addiction spread to Opiates and basically anything that I could get my hands on. At 38 I went to my first 30 day inpatient program and unfortunately it was downhill from there. After the program I moved in with several other people who had attended the same program and the chaos began. I had never seen a street drug in my life except for weed but was quickly introduced to Heroin and Cocaine. My life as I knew it was over and I lost everything that I loved, my baby Daughter.When she was taken from me I used even more to numb the pain... By the Grace of God I was arrested and put on "First Offender Status" in Virginia. I then began taking Suboxone and my struggle with recovery began. I stopped the Heroin but COULDN'T GET OFF OF THE SUBOXONE to save my life. Finally in December 2016 I was put into a Psychiatric hospital and for 4 weeks I went through Hell from withdrawing. My situation is quite a struggle to this day because in October of 2017 after being clean for almost a year I was diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer with metastasis to my bones. I had a bilateral mastectomy and two other surgeries where I was given Opiates. Today I am in a lot of pain from the bone cancer and take two Opiates daily. My Palliative Medicine Doctor is very supportive and knows 100% of my addiction history. My 27 year old Daughter locks the medication away and dispenses it to me as prescribed daily... but it's a struggle to remain in recovery and have to take my drug of choice daily. I still have obsessive thoughts and cravings often. I find myself constantly thinking about when my next dose is and sometimes try to think of excuses to get more. I am completely open to any feedback or advice and will gladly answer my questions that anyone may have. Mostly I hope that my story helps someone to perhaps make better choices than I did, but I firmly believe that it is a disease and those of us that have it definitely have a burden to bare that normal people don't understand. On a positive note, my Baby Girl is 14 now and is back in my life and we have a wonderful loving relationship. Thank you for listening!