These are just a few of the recent studies expressing the increasing trend of mental health issues and drug addiction due to the effects of this COVID-19 pandemic and the shutdown: · "Once the coronavirus pandemic subsides, the opioid epidemic will rage "..........................Health Affairs (April 15, 2020) · “Grave concern that COVID-19 will increase already catastrophic opioid overdose rates ."........American College of Physicians (ACP) · COVID-19 and opioid addiction worsen each other . This has led to backward steps in recovery, which is exacerbated as mental health issues arise over isolation and unemployment..........................Harvard Health Publishing · “ Conditions in the places where people live, learn, work, and play affect a wide range of health risks and outcomes .” In short, people suffering from addiction are vastly more vulnerable to coronavirus ..........................CDC · "Officials worry of potential spike in overdose deaths amid COVID-19 pandemic"...................................ABC News · “ Coronavirus Coverage : The pandemic may fuel the next wave of the opioid crisis.” ………………………..….National Geographic When we finally emerge from the Covid-19 pandemic, we could be left with an ever increasing number of opioid addictions and deaths. It does not discourage our passion, it just reminds us we need to remain vigilant in our objectives. ___________________________________________ AMERICA WILL GET COVID-19 UNDER CONTROL. HELP US DO THE SAME FOR ADDICTION. We are our best, when we face our worst.

I dread this day every year but sadly, I dread many days. I know I will never be the same person I was when he was with me, and I never ask whether I will ever be rid of this sadness so deep inside, because I know the answer to this. I do not want to hear, “time is a great healer,” please do not tell me, “he struggled so much here he is in a better place,” unless you can prove to me you know that for a fact. I have been to a psychic, a priest, and anyone else that professed to have insight that I do not have, but no one has yet convinced me of any specific conclusions. These are dynamics every parent that grieves a child, struggle with. So, I manage with the specifics I am in control of. *I am still, the mother of three, one in Heaven, two on earth. WORD TO THE WISE: Don’t challenge me on that, you don’t want to go there. *He may have struggled while he was here, but was loved every second on earth, and loved even more now in every memory I hold in my heart. *My life has dramatically changed, but every year that passes, I change too. I am a different person today than when I got married, so why would it not make sense that the loss of Matt would not drastically change me too. That makes sense to me. I don’t like it, but it makes sense to me. *Not for one second, even knowing the outcome, would I not have wanted to be the parent of Matt. *and finally, I have been under the misconception that life is easy, it is not. Life is really, I’m saying that again, really, hard, and harder now than ever. I accept that. It sucks, but I accept that. So Happy Birthday My Love. You are on every book shelf in my office, you reside in my pocketbook, travel up and down from DC to NY weekly, you attend in my briefcase every meeting I attend, we food shop together, and go to Costco where I buy all kinds of things I do not need, we’ve even been dress shopping together. I look at this as a positive, as those were things we never did together before. There’s an upside to everything. I so deeply love and miss you my son. Your Mom

Thrilled to have you here but I must say it is very weird writing about yourself! Let’s begin with some background. I am from Virginia, run a public relations firm in New York focusing on professional athletes and the financial industry, have three kids, a husband who has one of those “Can’t tell you what I do for a living” jobs, and never had any aspirations to run a blog, and certainly not a blog discussing addiction and the loss of my son. My kids call me “BARRACUDA,” and they have great fun sharing videos of my zeal. Shea returned to UVA last week and in the middle of the night she heard my car alarm go off and called me out of a dead sleep to tell me. I opened her dorm door and saw three police cars by my car and a tow truck. Out the door I went in my bare feet, introducing myself to the police officers, shook their hands, with my next sentence “take the tow thing off my car or you will be towing it with me on top of it, and I am not paying the ticket on the windshield.” After much negotiation, I returned to her dorm. Shea sends to my other daughter Kelley, “Tonight mom took on 6 police officers, one tow truck driver and won.” They have a ball with me and “Mom, take it down about 15 notches” and “let me live,” I hear often. However, they also watch with great observation, as they are both fierce crusader’s , street smart, and compassionate; I raised “Mini Barracudas” with heart. But heroin took that from one of them and took him from me. My new battle, and one I don’t plan to lose. Welcome to American Boy The intent of this project is very simple. It addresses what we believe to be the three obstacles that impeded Matt from recovery; twenty-eight days in treatment is never enough, the stigma of addiction, and inadequate resources for identifying great programs. My son was an addict. I was never ashamed of Matt, I loved him with every fiber of my being. Not to say I wasn’t ashamed of some of his actions and behaviors, but heroin and the disease of addiction caused that, it took from me the child I knew. I know your children are beautiful beings when drugs are out of the picture and I know how unrecognizable they are when drugs are not. You have found a home here. American Boy is to be a resource for struggling parents, struggling siblings and all the loved ones that surround that dynamic. There will be help here for everyone and if you don’t find it here, we will create it. I am not waiting any longer for something to change. I lost Matt, but trust me when I say this, I will not stop fighting for you in his honor. Buy Shea’s book, you will relate to every page of AMERICAN BOY. This book was difficult for us to share and in hindsight, I will admit some of Shea’s observations were accurate. You love your child so desperately and hurt so much to see them struggling that you compromise your own morals hoping that maybe this is the turning point. Maybe that motorcycle he needed the last $400.00 to buy, will change everything. I am going to be honest and real about everything I share on this blog. Nothing is off limits, but I ask you to do the same. You must engage and share openly because if we aren’t honest, we help no one. This is a battle you do not have to fight alone. Matt did not win it, but that does not in any way mean you won’t. And to siblings, meet Kelley and Shea. They will be present here as well, to share things they felt and are feeling, and you open to one another. Their insight on the Sibling FAQ will let you know you are not alone. Finally, to all those who suffer right along with us but from a distance, yes you can be instrumental in this fight. We need you to influence the outcomes of our efforts. So right NOW, do this as a starting point all free, all simple: *Like us on Facebook-introduce us to your loved one. *Engage on Instagram *Tweet on Twitter then retweet! Social media will get us traction to get scholarships for young people with no resources and force our voice onto those who are not listening. My relationship with the fabulous Dr. Carrie Wilkens at Center for Motivation and Change reminds me often, “change is hard to do for anyone but there are strategies that are far more effective than others” and she is prepared to share those in this forum. Her books and foundation the basis for addiction redefined. Buy them, get them at the library, go on their website, donate to their foundation. I never envisioned having a web site that would address the loss of my American Boy, discussing the horrid journey of addiction. I lost Matt, but now I am strong, I am fiercely determined to be a compelling voice in a club I never opted to join. Let’s Help One Another. Not tomorrow, not next week, right now. NEXT POST: We get personal with my hysterical story seeking a counselor for myself! “Wait, did you really just ask me how I am coping? What an idiot question and frankly, “Isn’t that what I am paying you for?????” UGH.

SO often we talk ourselves into a funk. It happens to us all: *I can't lose weight *I'll never get the job *I'm not smart enough to get in *I’ll never beat this addiction I think of my father-in-law who used to apply for jobs. He was in the education system and would look through the newspapers and apply to jobs like President of a company, Head Coach of a major sports team, oil negotiator position that well exceeded his skill set. But he did not care. He kept applying. There's no dream ending here, he never got any of those jobs, but he never let the job he had stop him from getting the job he wanted. Doesn't mean you are going to have success always, just means you had the balls to try.

Weighing in at a mere 123 pounds, sheds daily, and is the loyal friend we all seek, Matt’s dog Max. We got Max thirteen years ago because we felt he would help Matt, and he did. We had hoped he would be more reason to turn his sights on Max rather than drugs, perhaps that happened, only Max knows. The love of a dog is like no other. My husband probably wished he married a dog because they don’t talk back or disagree. I do both. We love Max for a million reasons but mostly because we still have him, and he reminds us every minute of Matt. Funny, loving, and always able to make you feel special, something Matt was masterful at. We struggled with Instagram, knowing its relevance, but perplexed at how to use it to share our thoughts, pictures and AMERICAN BOY with it being such a difficult subject. Max, meet the world. You are exactly what we believe Matt would have wanted; to share something he loved so much. Max does not judge, worries in silence, and loves unconditionally. Do I need to say more?

I know. I know everything you are feeling, everything you are missing and everything you wish were different. Losing someone, especially a young adullt, makes you wonder whether your life will ever be good again and if you will ever return to any sense of normalcy. I still carry Matt’s hat with me everywhere I go. Many a times I have been in a business situation to unapologetically have it fall out of my briefcase and think to myself “don’t even go there because this meeting in the scope of what now matters to me is unimportant.” When Matt passed, I was so confused at what was happening. I sat in the big leather chair in my office and just stared out the window tears streaming down my face. At first I cried all day, then 10 times a day, then 5 then 2. Now, 18 months later, I still cry every day, but never is he out of my mind. What I do know is this. Parenting Matthew was a privilege I would not trade even knowing the outcome. He was everything I had hoped he would be, strong, loving and a reminder to the world of what a perfect heart looks like. Heroin took that from us all and I will dedicate my life to letting heroin know, Matt may not have been strong enough to overcome you, but I am. You have met your match in me and I will do everything in my power in honor of Matt, to eliminate it from continuing to ruin more lives. I now do that for your child as well. It does get better. Your heart will never heal, but you will find a strength in you that will propel you to disallow their lives from being defined by addiction. Matt’s life was a life of purpose. Mine now is too. Matt gave that to me. Allow American Boy to give that to you.